epic post

Like a famished Grizzly freshly awaken from his winter slumber I return to you noble readers of WBPT. Apologies for my absence will do no good, for the time that has passed is simply an errant nightmare, you all deserve better. I aim to deliver, the time to post has arrived. Your studious first mate has been kriss-krossing this great land in search of that daily activity which gives us all a sense of importance while simultaneously filling our checking accounts with the fruits of our labor. I, like your Captain OB, am unemployed and that my friends is a much busier occupation than you may imagine. Just last week I left my home in the South Carolina low-country to pursue professions in the great Rocky Mountains, Denver specifically, one of my favorite cities in the US. While that venture went without a hire it did not pass idly by as many leads were developed and, if I choose, an opportunity to relocate would certainly bear fruit. After a short stint back in SC I am off later this week to the South’s King City, the land of my birth, Atlanta in search of more opportunities. But enough about me, it is too long and depressing a story lately to comprehend or even really care about. I have decided to make this an epic post, one that will encompass the tremendous occurrences in sports, music, and culture in the last few days and weeks. I hope this effort will make up for my absence, but you must read on to find out.

Rawr

OB will surely hate me for doing this, since he has been a card-carrying member of the Duke-haters Club ever since I’ve known him. But how ’bout them Blue Devils? The most absurd looking of the number 1 seeds actually became better when 7’1″ bearded-paint-dweller Brian Zoubek became a starter after the loss to Maryland late in the regular season. The fighting Kryzewskis dominated the ACC tournament and were all set to make a run at the title. I personally had the boys from Durham losing in the Elite 8 to Villanova, but when the Wildcats bowed out early to cinderella St. Mary’s it made Duke’s path that much easier.  The Dukies fought off Baylor to earn their spot in the Final Four and played their best game of the year against West Virginia to make it to the Championship. I personally loved this Championship game. It was a typical David vs. Goliath sure but what I loved the most about it was that of the 10 starting basketball players from Duke and Butler, half of them were white boys. Duke’s fantastically pale trio of Scheyer, Singler, and Zoubek proved too much for the hometown Butler Bulldogs and Coach K won his 4th Title at Duke in what was one of the better Championship games in recent memory. A big Duke high-five to all my fellow frontrunners who have loved the Blue Devils since the days of Hurley and Hill.

That's What I Call Diversity

Well the end of college basketball means there must be something to fill this massive sports void in my soul. There must be some sport that encompasses all that is and was good in America. Something that brings people together, spanning thousands of miles and defines a common thread among generations. What could it be?

Thank you Terrance Mann, I mean James Earl Jones. Baseball. God I love it. There is nothing more perpetually American than baseball. Nothing makes me realize that summer is imminent more than baseball. With opening day happening yesterday and my hometown Braves ripping the absolute dog shit out of the Cubs I couldn’t be more excited about this season. It is Bobby Cox’s last season as Braves manager and the boys from the Ted have a legitimate shot at making the playoffs. As a boy I attended a World Series game in 1992 when Atlanta played Toronto, my all-time favorite player is Chipper Jones (UFag bias and Hooters babies aside, he’s a baller), and when David Justice hit that solo-shot to win the 1995 World Series it immediately became my greatest sports memory. I love the Braves and I love baseball. This season is going to be exciting to watch. As 20 year old, number 1 prospect Jason Heyward hit a 3-run bomb with his first major league swing he ushered in a new era of Braves baseball, one that hopefully will send Bobby Cox out with a title of some kind.  Here’s to $2 tickets, $4 hot dogs, and $6 domestic beers.

Feels Good Man

Speaking of the Rites of Spring, there is another one this week. It is the Jim Nantz jizz-fest aka the Masters. This year I hope that mainstream America holds their collective obsession of the philanderer elsewhere as the Masters is one of the last remaining utterly pure sporting events. That is the last I will speak of that. If you are a true sports fan, then Augusta National Golf should be at the very top of your Sports Bucket List. I myself have been 3 times to the tournament itself (practice rounds are for suckers) and usually can be found walking around with my jaw somewhere around my ankles, or propped on a hillside with a $1.50 beer. It is truly a sight to behold, one of Golf’s many meccas, but the US’s only true Golf Capital. Augusta in early April is a fantastically beautiful place, azaleas and dogwoods blooming, sorostitutes from nearby UGA and South Carolina clad in stunning sundresses and skirts that do as the wind bids them, and the sweet sounds of titanium on plastic. I hope to everything that this weekend is more about the other men on the course, those that are actually competing for a green jacket, because in a world filled with distractions it would be nice to just watch some guys play some amazing golf at a truly amazing place.

Amen Corner - Augusta National Golf Club

Alright enough sports talk for today. There are a couple of movie trailers running on most cable networks right now that have caught my attention. Not for the movies themselves but for who is in them. Death at a Funeral and The Losers both star a certain up and coming actress who has appeared in Avatar, Star Trek, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Drumline. Zoe Saldana is a New Jersey born, Dominican/Puerto Rican, actress and she has me wanting moar. This chick is unreal. I mean I first took notice when she was lookin’ supa-fine opposite Nick “Wil-n-Out” Cannon in 2002′s supersmash Drumline, and since then I have been keeping tabs on her. Death at a Funeral‘s cast alone will probably have me redboxing it in a few months (doesn’t hurt that it’s rated R, might catch it in theaters), The Losers looks like a quality summer shoot-em-up and there is no lack of great character names so I will be catching this one when it comes out (plus Zoe looks great in the trailer). This chick is about to blow up, I guess this is the Woman version of Music MANday, as we at WBPT salute Ms. Saldana and all she undertakes in the future.

Looked me dead in the face, asked cash or credit...

Now on to another Goddess named Zoe. Or I guess, Zooey. In this section of Epic Post I will be discussing 3 of my favorite albums to come out in 2010, the first of which is She & Him – Volume Two. For those that don’t know, She & Him is comprised of musical renaissance man M. Ward and actress/singer/blue-eyed sex kitten Zooey Deschanel. Simply put, if you like Zooey’s voice then buy this album. It is heads and tails above Volume One, her lyrics are simple and meaningful and his guitar bleeds through every track as they mix together to make a 50′s style folk masterpiece. See and hear the first single from the album below, if you dig it I suggest you purchase the rest.

Favorite album number two of 2010 is the debut album from a band called Local Natives, an LA based group who describe their sound as “afropop-influenced guitars with hyperactive drumming and hooky three-part harmonies” and if that doesn’t make you want to take a listen, then maybe the video below will (very cool). This is another must have album. The Local Natives are kind of a mixture of the Arcade Fire and Vampire weekend but that doesn’t really do them justice, these guys are definitely a group to keep an eye on.

Favorite album number three is also from a new group on the scene. Mumford & Sons released their freshman effort Sigh No More back in October 2009 over in the UK and it was just released over here in the states. This album is the shit. If you’re a fan of stringy, loud, folky groups like the Avett Brothers and Frightened Rabbit then this is the album for you. Probably the best all-around album I’ve heard since Phoenix’s Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix. Seriously buy this album, download it, rip it, get it somehow. You won’t regret it.

Alright friends, I’m all posted out. But before I leave you I just wanted to give you a heads up on some great music coming out in May. Indie music phenomenon The National will release their album High Violet on May 11, below is a clip of them performing a track from that effort on the Jimmy Fallon Show. Below that is Charleston’s favorite local sons (ok, besides Hootie) and their first ever video of any kind from the upcoming album Infinite Arms that comes out on May 18th.

Looking forward to this summer, the music, the sports, the drinks, and the broads. Thanks for your patience. Stay tuned.

-Neil

Be Cool My Babies…

Dear Internet,

The first words out of his mouth were “No really, we don’t have a lot of time…” The crowd was emotional and outrageous, as was deserved and expected. Multiple standing ovations took minutes to silence and cast and crew were damn close to tears. When questioning the first skit Conan jested, “We didn’t rehearse because we don’t care…and we’ve been drinking.” Max Weinberg blasted his drums, La Bamba crushed his trombone, and Andy was even more hilarious than he was back in the early days.

After a Giant Sloth skeleton sprayed a Picasso with beluga caviar in the opening bit in an attempt to spend as much NBC cash as possible, Conan had to undergo an exit interview by an NBC employee. Steve Carell walked out and promptly asked Conan a number of questions including “Would you describe your time at NBC as Positive, Very Positive, or Extremely Positive?” and “Would you ever consider working for NBC again?” Carell’s quick and pointed awkward hilarity summed up the entire evening, as Conan and crew tried to make the best of their short-live Late Night fame.

Tom Hanks came out as the first guest from under the curtain hoisting two scotches and sporting some serious shades. He handed one to CoCo (the term Hanks coined for Conan) and referred to the drink as “daddy’s little reward”. Hanks echoed my own sentiments when he said, “In my house you will always be host of The Tonight Show.” Hanks and O’Brien then reminisced about the late ’80s SNL days when Hanks was hosting and Conan was writing until Conan finally turned the conversation to Hanks and his upcoming efforts. Both the consummate professionals, this exchange was the closest the show would come to a normal talk show.

Neil Young was next up to show his support for Conan, looking aged and pointing back at Conan as he began. Neil launched into his very fitting tune “Long May You Run” from his album of the same name. When he was finished Young praised Conan for his talented ear screaming “Thank you for everything you’ve done for new music!” If you’re anything like me, you used to stay up late just to hear that “new band” on Conan that was on the rise. His show has exposed acts like Radiohead, Kings of Leon, Drive-by Truckers and Green Day to the national stage in his earlier days on Late Night with Conan O’Brien.

Conan then explained in sincerity that he could say anything he wanted and proceeded to thank NBC for being his professional home for over 20 years. He stuck to his guns and fought back tears, saying it’s every comedian’s dream to host The Tonight Show and that he lived that dream for 7 months. He then thanked his fans, stumbling mightily with the tears, and begged the young people to not be cynical, to be kind and surely amazing things will happen.

That was as serious as Conan would allow. Enter Will Ferrell dressed as Ronnie Van Zant of Lynyrd Skynyrd, Neil Young t-shirt and all, leading Max Weinberg on drums, one member of ZZ Top (the one with the beard…), Beck, Ben Harper, as well as Conan all playing guitar in an amazing version of Freebird. During the jam session Ferrell balled out on his cowbell and Conan shredded until the credits rolled.

Those of you who think I’m being over dramatic and too serious are probably right. But Conan O’Brien was just as big a part of my upbringing as the Ninja Turtles, Goldeneye (the game), David’s Sunflower Seeds, Victoria Secret Catalogs, Natty Lite, and ElastoMania combined. I attribute most of the humorous tendencies of this website to him and his writing and I’m sure OB would echo this sentiment. Late Night was a staple at sleep-overs and was the first thing I turned on when I got home right after curfew. His acts of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, The Masturbating Bear, and the Year 2000(3000) constantly had me in stitches. If nothing else, his giant ginger physique and sharp tongue will be missed the most.

Conan himself said that life is too short to be cynical so I won’t write my planned words for NBC and Jay Leno here. I will only wish Conan and his family the best, maybe a move back to New York and a new gig on Fox or FX back in his old 12:30 slot would do the trick. Possibly when Leno is ready to retire for real, then NBC will swallow it’s pride and give Conan back the spot that he has earned. Until that time myself and a myriad of other 20-35 year olds will be anxiously awaiting the return of our generation’s de facto late night talk show host.

Neil McFadden

Help out haiti

Hey yall, if you have not done so yet, make sure and donate whatever you can to the Red Cross to help out the people suffering in Haiti. Such a decimated country to begin with, Haiti’s joke of a government has nowhere near the capability to help their own people so any help yall can give is huge. The easiest way to do it is by texting the following.

Text HAITI to 90999 for a $10 donation that goes right on your cell phone bill. I would assume many of yalls parents pay your bill anyway, so you really have no excuse to not donate. (And I have no excuse to use a double negative)

Also, if you’re like me and out of the country, or don’t want to put the $10 on your cell phone bill, you can donate at http://www.helphaitinow.org/

Ὀδυσσεύς Bombay

Music MANday

Back from the hiatus, I apologize for the lack of Posts these last few days, I have been out of town and OB is pleasure cruising with Abigail around his sub-equatorial paradise. The Music MANday is a special Friday edition and I did manage to get a guest writer to give me something earlier this week, he is a college buddy of mine and his piece on Avatar is damn good, see below. Look for more of Atticus Noisewater’s contributions in the coming days, and hopefully longer than that if we can keep him around. This week’s Music MANday is a clusterfuck of new school and old school, as both the band centered on and the man idolized are involved in bringing together these two conflicting um, well “schools” I guess. Read on.

Being a UGA Alum you will be forced from time to time to listen to my complete ramblings on the Athens area’s best and brightest prospects, musically and otherwise. This is one of those times.

The Futurebirds are an up and coming act out of Athens that has drawn some serious attention. Described as an “an alt-country / southern rock / mountain / experimental / other music type six-some” their live shows are chocked full of energy and genuine ardor for the music they play. Musically I would describe them as a unholy combination of Widespread Panic, Fleet Foxes, and The Whigs. Then add a heavy dose of pedal steel and a serious chip on their shoulder and you may have scratched the surface. These guys and girl have some serious potential to make major moves, especially considering they are an unsigned act relatively unknown outside of Georgia. They are attempting to meld the musical attributes of two totally different regions, the Northwest (Portland, Seattle, etc.) and the Dirty South. If they continue to grow from their release Futurebirds EP (download for free here) I see no end in sight for this group. One thing is for sure, it’s gonna be fun to watch.

The Futurebirds

Mixed Martial Arts. Something dudes like you and me talk about over lunch at the deli and watch on Friday nights in a haze of local brews and the finest cheeb. The gist of it being that these motherfuckers can fight, no barriers or styles constrain them, they can flat out brawl. Quinton Jackson is no exception. Jackson earned his chops in Japan’s Pride Fighting Championships as a 23 year old man-child. On the side Jackson dabbled in K-1 kickboxing and knocked out Cyril Abidi 1:55 in the first round in 2002. He then went on to defeat Chuck Liddell in Pride Final Conflict 2003 by corner stoppage.  This would serve as a precursor to UFC 71 when the new Quinton “Rampage” Jackson knocked UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Liddell to the mat and then pummeled him mercilessly until Chucky handed over the belt and his dignity, 1:53 into the first fucking round.

Is that a jaguar tatoo? Fuck yeah it's a jaguar tatoo

This essentially cements Rampage’s status as a bad mamma jamma and would be more than enough to feature him on any blog as a beacon of Manliness. But this isn’t any blog, this is WBPT  and one must go the extra fucking mile to have me sit down and develop a serious man-crush via my keyboard. Yeah he’s a badass, yeah he can literally kick 98% of the people in the world’s ass on any given day. But what separates him from the rest? I’ll tell you. Who the fuck else has the strength to knock the fuck outta Chuck Liddell and then turn around and exhibit the acting chops necessary to portray B.A. Baracus of the A-Team? That’s right lowly serfs, Rampage is the new Mr. T… In June, 2010 he will star alongside Bradley “The Sack Man” Cooper and Liam “Ra’s-Al-Ghul” Neeson in the movie remake of the The A-Team. For what it’s worth I can’t wait for this flick to come out, I sincerely hope they relegate Rampage to more than just a few one-liners and quips about kicking tail. If he can hold his own in this film, look out Hollywood and world as Rampage is on the loose and the sky’s the limit. No, Rampage will fuck the sky up and hang out in the outer reaches of the Atmosphere. Rampage has it all, a legitimate Ultimate Fighting Pedigree, an acting career on the rise, and even a serious criminal record (felony reckless driving, felony hit and run, felony evading police all acquired after he lost a match to Forrest Griffin, didn’t sleep or eat for 4 days and was so pumped up on energy drinks he decided to play monster truck in his jacked-up F-350 with his picture on the side while driving down the wrong side of the street/sidewalk). All necessary prerequisites for being Man of the week. Rampage we here at WBPT will continue to sip drinks and admire your work from afar, too scared to be within 40 cubits of your shadowy, well chiseled features.

Neil McFadden

hey plebs

First off, sorry for the lack of material from my end lately, I have been traveling in and around Colombia for the last week and a half, and have not been in blog writing mode. This is just a quick update, so no juicy gems for yall today, but I will be back in full effect come this Sunday. Also, Lane Kiffin is a twat. See yall soon.

Ὀδυσσεύς Bombay

Brian Kelly to ND

It appears the Golden Domers have in fact signed now former Cincinnati HC Brian Kelly to a contract for the same position in South Bend this evening. A source that has ties to the Parker Executive Search Firm in Atlanta, GA let this out a little after 9 pm EDT. ESPN is currently running a story on its front page leading us to believe that Notre Dame is interested in UConn HC Randy Edsall and appears to be just misinformation probably stemming from someone close to Notre Dame in order to try and distract from the actual goings on. You heard it here first folks.

5 foot nothin, a hundred and nothin

McFadden out.

New Blog from a Huntsville Friend

Friend, Bama grad, and fellow frat superstar Bart Siniard has a great new Blog covering the latest political, economic, and societal news in a local, national and international context.  With great links and relevant commentary, yall would be Lane Kiffin crazy not to check it out.

http://driftingnow.blogspot.com/

PASADENA…

HOLY SHIT FUCK SHIT GODDAMNIT YES

Sunday…fuck

A few things:

My Iron Bowl predictions were, well, shit. We almost lost to the barners, and I have to give them credit. They came out strong and exploited some weaknesses. Our D didn’t live up to its ranking, and didn’t seem too inspired. I was stuck at work all day, so I was forced into constantly refreshing the only unblocked sports site I could find, and only able to watch the last 10 minutes of the game at a seedy Colombian internet café. But I really don’t care to be honest, that last drive was a thing of beauty, and was worth all the agony. Shout out to Neil and UGA, as they took care of business in ATL, getting a much needed win against a top 10 opponent. I didn’t get to watch any college football this weekend, there was none on here in Bogota, so I spent all day Saturday recovering from a hangover watching La Liga futbol.

As some of you worldly sports fans may know, today, in about one hour, is Spain’s biggest rivalry, Real Madrid vs. Barcelona. This years Clásico is in Barça at the Camp Nou, with 100,000+ seats the largest stadium in Europe. Surely the most watched rivalry game in European football, this years duel is extra special. Real Madrid, after suffering an embarrassing 6-2 asswaxing at the Santiago Bernabeu last season, sacked their coach, and bought over $200 million in new talent. Cristiano Ronaldo, Kaká, Karim Benzema, and others were brought in to compete for the world’s most prestigious, and controversial club. Ronaldo is back with the team after a 2 month long ankle injury, and I expect him to bring back much needed firepower, especially on the counter attack.

This years Derby should prove to be a great one. I don’t expect a blowout by either side, but then again I wouldn’t be surprised if Barça just killed us. Barça is a tremendous club, with 4 of the best footballers in the world (Messi, Xavi, Iniesta, Zlatan) all in top form. Messi and Ibra are both coming back from minor injuries, but they should be starters. Sadly, I am going to have to pick against my beloved Blancos and pick Barça to win 2-1, in a fun, and fast paced match. Barça truly plays the beautiful game, while Madrid is still struggling to find their form, even if they are atop the league standings.

For those in the US, I strongly recommend skipping a mediocre and uninspired NFL day game to check this out.

Hala Madrid

Ὀδυσσεύς Bombay

Friday Cup O’ Mead

As some of you may know, your loyal journeyman OB is down in the Southern Cone at the moment, working and enjoying everything Bogotá has to offer. Like any respectable American, I constantly goof off at work, and tend to spend more time reading news and sports websites than actually working. So I thought I would share some of the more interesting articles I have come across this week.

*None of them are related to Alabama football, as we are playing the lowly UT Chattanooga Mocs in the home finale (aka excuse to drink cheap bourbon all day and embarrass my girlfriend, myself, and my dead grandparents in front of “good friends”, ranting about how I didn’t think our third string O line pass blocked well enough, and how I’ve always had a thing for Pacific Asians.)

Here’s a good one from Al Jazeera about the recent soccer riots in Egypt:

http://english.aljazeera.net/focus/2009/11/2009111881211733504.html

Controversial yet thoughtful, article about the future of Al Qaeda:

http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2009/11/10/the_case_for_keeping_al_qaeda?page=0,0

Fuckin’ Republicans:

http://www.truthout.org/1119098

Great Economist article on the fiscal deficit:

http://www.economist.com/displayStory.cfm?story_id=14903024&source=hptextfeature

How I stay so young:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8369674.stm

Ὀδυσσεύς Bombay